The Plight of the TriSexual


The four-letter acronym LGBT has left out one very angry group that promises to go on an anti-Western Culture rampage if society doesn’t quickly recognize and embrace them.

G = gay; L = lesbian; B = bisexual; and T = transgendered (which the dictionary defines as “Appearing as, wishing to be considered as, or having undergone surgery to become a member the opposite sex”).

Left out are the TRIsexuals, and the “Tri’s” are mad as hell.

“We’re not gay or lesbian or bisexual or trans,” a representative of the group recently said. Both men and woman are known to have this orientation. Simply stated, these individuals are attracted to two members of the opposite sex. The men must have two women, and the women must have two men. The “tri” refers to the math: 1+2=3.

Like the LGBT community, trisexuals believe they have been born that way and are confident that scientists will someday discover the gene linked to this lifestyle. Leadership of the trisexual community has released research showing that approximately ten percent of the population shares this orientation.

“It’s not a choice,” the Tri representative recently said, “it’s who we are.” They are currently setting up a national organization (“TriPod” – Trisexuals Promoting Our Diversity”) to fight for their “civil rights.”

Upset at having been left out of the LGBT coalition, they’re planning to hold their own “pride” parades and their own version of the “gay” games.

They also plan to wage a war against traditional one-man/one-woman marriage, but insist that to be Tri is not be a polygamist or a polyamorist (group marriage). “Our unions are sacred and are limited to three consenting adults, whereas polygamy and polyamory are open-ended.”

The group’s website has a link to a 25-page white paper explaining why they draw the line at three.

In addition to seeking the right to be joined in holy matrimony, trisexuals seek the right to adopt. “Trisexual families are loving places, perfect for raising children.”

Other future activities include plans for joint-efforts with the National Education Association to include materials in public school curricula. “Children need to learn about us and should be taught early so as to help them avoid any prejudice. We are currently documenting incidents where playground bullies are taunting trisexual children.”

Eventually, the national organization “TriPod” hopes its lifestyle will be the subject of a prime time network situation comedy, as well as having its members serve as hosts of a fashion show on Bravo TV.

In one interview, the leader of TriPod downplayed the fact that there were former trisexuals. “It’s not relevant, since there are so few individuals making this claim. Not only that, we suspect these people have a political agenda that seeks to undermine the legitimacy of who we are.”

When asked about potential resistance to their efforts, the words “hate,” “bigotry,” “intolerance,” and “discrimination” were used repeatedly.

“Our efforts will seek to eliminate any stigma attached to our lifestyle,” the leader of TriPod said, “We exist – and society needs to accept that fact. We’re ‘tri’ – and we’re proud.”

For more information on all the other under-represented sexual “orientations,” click here.