Newsmachete has done it again over at American Thinker — enjoy!:
I was born in the body of a regular person, but in my mind, I feel I am royalty. I can’t help this feeling; it’s just the way I am. And it upsets me when people don’t treat me according to my royal identity. When men talk to me, they do not bend the knee; women do not bow or even curtsy. And no one calls me “m’lord” or even apologizes for retreating from my royal presence without leave.
I didn’t ask to be born this way; it’s just the way I am. And I feel very discriminated against by society, which treats me like a commoner. When I go into a bathroom, everyone should leave so I can use it, but no one does. That makes me very uncomfortable. All I want to do is to go to the bathroom in peace! I think every business should either make everyone leave when I enter the bathroom or have a bathroom that can be used only by royalty.
When I go to stores, shopkeepers refuse to do my shopping for me, and they always insist I pay them. I am their king, their sovereign; I feel that every time they ask me to pay for what is already rightfully mine, it’s like a microaggression that feels as painful as regicide.
Read more: American Thinker
Image credit: newsmatchete.com.