I Identify as Barack Obama

Here is Selwyn Duke:

It’s always hard coming out. But it’s even harder not being true to yourself. So, inspired by Bruce Jenner and other intrepid souls, I’ve decided to finally start living the life I was meant to:

I identify as Barack Obama.

Oh, I can hear the cynical statements now. “Duke, your I.Q. is 50 points too high.” “Duke, you can speak fluently without a Teleprompter.” “Duke, you know there aren’t 60 states and can pronounce “corpsman.” “Duke, you’re melanin compromised.” All these things are inconsequential details, the stuff of tiresome prigs — sort of like genitalia on a man.

Given my identity, compassion dictates I be allowed to use the bathroom of my choice. My preferred bathroom happens to be in the White House. The same is true of my preferred bedroom, kitchen, living room, Blue Room, Green Room and Map Room; and my preferred chef, servants and security detail. I’ll have my preferred executive orders, too.

Some backward thinkers will insist I use the facilities appropriate to my station; others, thinking themselves reasonable, will offer to paint my place white and erect four majestic columns at its entrance. To them I will say, you’re insensitive, bigoted, narrow-minded, unscientific, ambition-phobic racists who should be killed with fire. As with the children and youths for whom the Obama administration (my administration) has so courageously taken up the cudgels, it is unconscionable to suggest I shouldn’t be allowed to use the facilities consistent with my identity.

Many, though, in the grip of white “male” (whatever that is) linear thinking, will dismiss my righteous claim by flippantly saying I’m not Barack Obama. Well, this is my reality — not yours. As American Thinker’s James Arlandson recently pointed out, philosopher Immanuel Kant informed that “we can’t know the ‘thing-in-itself’ without our mind filtering it.” Fellow enlightener Friedrich Nietzsche further clarified that “[e]verything is Interpretation: … Against those who say ‘There are only facts,’ I say, ‘No, facts are precisely what there is not, only interpretations.’ We cannot establish any fact in itself.”

And my own personal, provisional fact is that I have strong and persistent feelings I’m really Barack Obama. If you say feelings aren’t facts, you’re not paying attention.

Read more: American Thinker

Image credit: BarbWire.com.