They sound accurate to me:
• How do I sign a check on the front?
• Why stop at Gun Free Zones? We should also create Crime Free Zones!
• I voted for Change, so how come things are still the same?
• The National Socialist Party had nothing to do with Socialism, right?
• We have weekends off, thanks to unions. If enough people join unions, we can get the other five days off.
• My body is my business, but so is what other people earn.
• I don’t care what the Bill Of Rights is, as long as someone’s footing the bill.
• Why read the Constitution when you can watch the Daily Show?
• Voting “D” = free stuff. Voting “R”= bummer, I’ll have to work.
• I read in Cosmo that Republicans want to ban sex. It’s totally true.
• We keep voting democrat, but we’re STILL poor.
• The First Lady is like Kim Kardashian, except with other people’s money.
• Someday I’ll live in my OWN basement.