Paraphilia of the Day: The Plight of the Tri-Sexual

As we said in our must-read first post in this series, there is natural man/woman sex, and then there is everything else. On a daily basis I’m troubled by the fact that men who like to have sex with men and women who like to have sex with women get the royal treatment while their 540 or so other paraphilian brethren are ignored.

Okay, I admit to having a little fun with all this craziness. Seriously, though, why shouldn’t all the ways people experience “intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, or individuals” get equal attention? Just think, the Oprah Winfrey Network could fill their line-up with shows about each of the sexcentric-identified type individuals. Michael Sam wouldn’t just be an NFL paraphilia pioneer, he’d also be a trailblazer regarding shows on the OWN.

(As an aside, I have a question that is no doubt un-original: if Michael Sam receives a career-ending injury will the player who caused it be considered a bigot?)

Now let me admit that “tri-sexual” isn’t on the list of paraphilias. Or, rather, I haven’t found it since it might be and it’s just called something else. Today’s paraphilia is sparked by this news item:

HE LOVES THREESOMES: If True, Should NFL’s 1st Round Pick Odell Beckham Jr. Come Out of Threesome Closet?

My compliments to our friends at Clash Daily for putting that headline on this story:

NFL first round draft pick Odell Beckham Jr. ‘cheated on fiancee in a threesome with two strippers and has a love child’

  • Odell Beckham Jr. was drafted by the New York Giants on May 8
  • Erica Mendez, 19, from Texas, has now come forward claiming to be his fiancee
  • She said they have been dating since 2010
  • Claims to have walked in on him with two strippers and says Beckham has a love child
  • Beckham says he has never met her

A woman has come forward claiming to be the secret fiancee of New York Giants No. 1 draft pick Odell Beckham Jr., spreading stories of alleged dalliances with strippers and saying he had a love child while dating her.

The NFL is now said to be investigating the claims against the 21-year-old rookie, who just inked a four year deal with the Giants worth $10.4 million deal with the team, including a $5.9 million signing bonus.

He says the ‘entire story is fabricated’.

Is there a paraphilia that involves the mindset where making up stories gives a person an “intense sexual arousal“? Since many paraphilias are merely mindsets (see example here), we’ll find out soon enough. (See how valuable this series is?!)

Regardless of whether this report is true, I’d like to personally thank Erica Mendez for providing our friends at Clash Daily the material they needed to put up that headline which makes my point nicely. Eight years ago I wrote a parody titled “The Plight of the Tri-Sexual.” Again, another confession — my opening line still cracks me up (emphasis added):

The four-letter acronym LGBT has left out one very angry group that promises to go on an anti-Western Culture rampage if society doesn’t quickly recognize and embrace them.

Yesterday I joked about how The Onion is being overtaken by crazy reality. How do you parody news items that read like parodies in their original format?

Clicking on some links I’ve recently come across a couple of satires and parodies — here are two examples:

Female Softball Player Comes Out as Straight

Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Two concluding points for this post. First, eight years ago I was joking around by using the term “tri-sexual.” If you Google it today what you find will be as confused as the people who suffer from yesterday’s paraphilia.

Second, some might think I’m being insensitive to those who suffer same-sex attraction (or any of the other 500+ paraphilia desires), and that I’m ridiculing their struggle. Well, I’m not. My problem is with those who seek to claim that a thing is something it’s not, and then to poison the minds of school children even as they work to undo our God given and First Amendment right of religious liberty.

Instead of getting upset with me those who are offended should start a movement to counter the radical LGBTOMGWTFBBQ movement and tell them to stop making their personal struggle a political issue.

Regarding American foreign policy and party squabbles there used to be an expression that said “politics ends at the water’s edge.” Similarly, my compassion ends at the school house door. When children are being taught a lie, and are denied access to the truth, common sense and accurate science about what sexual behavior in all its forms actually is, my compassion is like that of a member of the military seeking to liberate the oppressed. Anyone who is offended should stop being an enemy combatant and join in the fight for truth.